Covered in Sticky Notes

The sometimes humorous adventures of a nerdy girl.

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The Computer Games of my Past: Part 1

By Alli on April 23, 2012

My first experience with computers was not playing games, but learning how to make the turtle draw lines and shapes using Logo when I was five and went to a computer day camp with my best friend. (More on this computer camp will be elaborated at a later date when I write about being blonde. It’s coming.)

The first actual computer game I remember playing was called Alice and it was on my Grandpa’s computer (some kind of Commodore, I think) and I played it with my dad. It involved going through a maze with different floors and an elevator and keys that did different things, like open up particular barriers. In some rooms, bad things happened. I can’t find any mention of this game anywhere on the internet. My dad got out graph paper and we began making an actual physical map of the game. I’m kind of sad we never beat it. Despite the rudimentary graphics, I remember having nightmares about it, which started a trend of dreaming about whatever game I happen to be playing which continues to this day.

Then my family acquired a Tandy computer. I played several games on that, but the one I remember most was this game where dinosaurs were escaping the past and appearing in this small town in the present. You had to figure out what dinosaur escaped and what time it belonged in so you could bring it back. Finding out involved running (note: you played as a blinking star) around the town (three screens in all) and asking people in various buildings questions. You’d also get hungry on the way and need to eat or you’d starve to death, so you had to get money and buy food for yourself. The game was bugged and you couldn’t actually find out if you brought the dinosaur back to the right time, but 

Then my parents bought a Macintosh Performa 575, and that beautiful beige beast changed my gaming world forever.

Exhibit A: World Builder Games

World Builder games were basically interactive fiction paired with black and white images for each page or scene of the story. I was unable to play interactive fiction (Zork, for example) without getting hopelessly lost, so the images in World Builder games helped orient me somewhat. It didn’t help that most of the games I played were by this guy called Ray Dunakin and they involved going through magic portals into other areas. 

WHY DIDN’T YOU FINISH MORPHWORLD, RAY! NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR OUTDOOR MODEL RAILROAD!

Sorry, nerdrage over.

Anyway, the reason why I loved these particular game was that there wasn’t any dying. I hate having to repeat content in video games, and it always seemed like the longer I played without saving meant the more likely it was I was going to die. Die in an adventure game? Okay, now you know not to climb that rickety fence again. No need to figure out how to mash keys faster so you can survive.

(Image via: raydunakin.com)

Exhibit B: Taskmaker and Tomb of the Taskmaker

Best part of the game: The super in-depth tutorial, which also provided you with a ton of stuff.

No, this was the best part of the game: Stuff lying around all over the place! 

No, this was the best part of the game: When you ran through curtains, they made this great ripping sound. See ripped curtains below:

No, this was really the best part of the game: When you died, you went to hell and had to escape equipped with only a butter knife. In the sequel, Tomb of the Taskmaker, the hell you went to depended on how you died and you had to perform some task in order to get out. 

No, THIS was the best part of the game: When you ran into an NPC, your character would say politely “excuse me.” over and over again, until finally, fed up, it would holler in a British accent, “GET OUT OF THE WAY!”

Exhibit C: MYST and Connections

MYST was a gift from my parents after I graduated from fifth grade. I think they later realized they shouldn’t have bought me such a difficult game, but I was already obsessed with it. Eventually they also bought me a guide, but before then I’d already managed to get to the other world in the clock (if you played, you know what I’m talking about, or it’s pictured below) and had a general idea of how the elevator/tower worked.

(Image via: mystjourney.com where you can get MYST for your iphone.)

I loved MYST so much I asked for similar games, and really enjoyed one called Connections. I eventually got so stuck in connections trying to spell a word in Morse Code I called their support line, and they told me I just needed to make my dashes way longer than I thought I did. The game featured a talking bald man that I think hosted a TV show of the same name.

I have this, I guess I’ll call it a personality feature, where if I see anything I like I think, “I want to make my own!” So, of course, I wanted to make my own game. (See future blog post about wanting to make my own website.) I tried making one with World Builder and was generally unsuccessful. By the time I got into it, no one was playing around with it anymore and there wasn’t much support for some random girl in middle school trying to make games. I think I got about three frames of the game working, so I suppose I was about as successful as whoever made that dinosaur game for the Tandy.

Then the iMac arrived.

Posted in Gaming | Tagged computer games, gaming, macintosh, myst, old school mac games, taskmaker, world builder | Leave a response

Songbirds: the last thing I’d ever want amplified. In an old apartment there was a bird that w

By Alli on March 26, 2012

Songbirds: the last thing I’d ever want amplified. In an old apartment there was a bird that w

Posted in Funny | Tagged annoying buggers, birds, songbirds | Leave a response

Things I Didn’t Like About Mass Effect 3

By Alli on March 25, 2012

Warning: This post is full of spoilers for Mass Effect 3. Don’t read it if you haven’t finished the game and don’t want to be spoiled.

1. I replayed half of ME2 to get enough Renegade points to recruit Morinth. All I get for this in ME3 is a couple emails and then she shows up as a banshee I have to kill? Kind of a letdown. Okay, major letdown. She should’ve showed up at the Monastery in place of Samara. This was the most disappointing part of the game.

2. The scanning/reaper evasion map mini game was boring. I liked scanning for minerals a lot better. (However, it was still better than having to drive the mako around on planets with inhospitable climates to find random artifacts as in ME1.)

3. Lack of choice in companions. Liara was my only companion with any biotic abilities (had I known, I would’ve made Kaidan join, since I’m an Infiltrator). I ended up having to take poor Liara on nearly every single mission.

4. The ending. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have my Bioware fangirl panties in a bunch like many of the people out there who are complaining. I don’t think it was that bad. I think maybe I didn’t think it was that bad because after all the whining I had some really bad expectations. As my coworker said on facebook, “From all the ruckus, I was expecting Shepard to eat a bunch of puppies and babies at the end, then say it was all a dream.”

That doesn’t mean it could’ve been better. My coworker also said, “It would’ve been the best ending ever if the Cruible turned out to be a huge robotic boxing glove, and you punched all the Reapers out of existence. Hey EA: I’ll pay good money for that as DLC!”

This would’ve been a better ending: You destroy the Reapers, of course (giant boxing glove method preferred). There’s lots of casualties, of course, but they depend on your choices, who you got to help out, etc. All of this can be revealed in a Dragon Age: Origins-like epilogue. I want to know if the rest of the Krogans ever found out I didn’t cure the genophage since I shot Wrex in the head. I also want to know how finding that Volus’s credit chit in ME2 ended up saving thousands of civilians and fostering galactic peace. 

Then Shepard and Romance-Of-Choice walk off into a beautiful sunset on Earth. I like happy endings, okay?

Then, during the credits, Garrus and Dragon Age’s Allistair have a dance-off.

4. No romance option with Legion! Legion is my favorite. I wanted him to say, “We have been programmed for sweet sweet lovemaking, Shepard Commander.”

(Hipster Morinth via The Original Hipster Mass Effect which sadly hasn’t updated in a year.)

Posted in Gaming | Tagged bioware, dragon age, legion, liara, mass effect, me3, morinth, my ending is way better and you know it | Leave a response

Why I’m Sam Sparks

By Alli on March 22, 2012

Ever wonder why I use Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’ Sam Sparks as my avatar/user picture/whatever you call it on various websites? No one’s ever asked, so I’m just assuming you’re all secretly dying to know and not that you all, you know, don’t care. Because that would be preposterous.

When I saw Meatballs, as I’m going to call it for short, I felt an affinity with Sam that I hadn’t felt in an animated character since Belle walked into The Beast’s library for the first time. (Any girl who reads would go for a beast if that library was part of the deal. Even if he didn’t turn into a golden haired god at the end. You know it’s true.)

One day I found myself wanting a cartoonish twitter icon but not wanting to go with the Madmen version of me, or the South Park version of me, or the TV-show-you’ve-never-heard-of version of me, or even something I did myself because I’m horrible at drawing things on the computer. Somehow I remembered Sam Sparks, and all the things we have in common:

1. We kind of look alike. As much as a computer animated person can look like a real life person. Sure, her hair is a bit darker and her eyes are a big greener (and, yes, about 10 times bigger) but still. There’s a resemblance!

2. We’ve both felt like we needed to hide who we really are. Yes, there used to be a time when I actually pretended I wasn’t a nerd. I remember overhearing my first college roommate telling someone I was “just a little bit nerdy” and feeling super offended, as in, how dare she notice! I’d been trying so hard to hide it!

3. We both say silly things. Some times on purpose, sometimes not so on purpose. I could definitely see myself saying something like “Come with us, Flint. We’ll live underground, and use bacon for clothes!”

Or also, “Hello, Alli Rense! I’m America!” in the not so on purpose category.

4. Sometimes we both wear glasses. Sometimes we do not.

5. We both make funny faces quite frequently. See an example:

And here I am, making a funny face (while holding a giant syringe—don’t ask):

Hey, we’re even wearing the same color shirt!

Posted in Funny | Tagged cloudy with a chance of meatballs, giant syringe, glasses, nerds, nerdy, sam sparks, silly | Leave a response

TV Shows Need My Help

By Alli on March 12, 2012

TV shows have a lot of problems. Usually they start off really good and then fade into some crap you still watch because you’re invested in the characters. Sometimes it’s the opposite, where they start off a bit slow but eventually get really good and you tell your friends and they say, “But I don’t want to watch through all those episodes to get to the good stuff!” (I’m looking at you, Fringe.) I’ve watched quite a bit of TV and sometimes I actually do stop watching shows before they’re even finished because they’ve pissed me off or just lost my interest.

Sometimes I keep watching.

I have some ideas to fix some TV shows I’ve watched recently (and some which are over but should’ve been fixed as well).

Battlestar Galatica
I only started watching because of Caprica. They kill my favorite character, make the plot so convoluted and weird it’s impossible to follow, and then Gaius Baltar cut his hair. The end.
Could’ve been improved by: Less Tory. No Tory.
Status: About 10 episodes left.

Caprica
This show was perfect. I was so mad it ended that I didn’t finish watching it.
Could’ve been improved by: More seasons.
Status: I don’t remember at which episode I left off. 

Downton Abbey
I can’t think of anything bad to say about this show, except I heard that Maggie Smith might not be renewing her contract in which case I will die. She is necessary.
Someone told me about someone else who made the analogy that doing IT on Capitol Hill is like working “downstairs” (as a servant) on Downton Abbey. I can’t think of a better way to describe that job.
Could’ve been improved by: More Maggie Smith.
Status: Currently caught up. 

Fringe
The only thing wrong with Fringe is that the first season is very slow and it’s hard for me to get any of my friends to get past that.
Could’ve been improved by: Give John Noble an Emmy already? Geez.
Status: Currently caught up.

How I Met Your Mother
I’m currently enjoying this show, but I’m only on season two and there’s a lot of episodes you guys and not much happens because it’s a sitcom and I don’t know if I can finish it.
Could’ve been improved by: If someone had told me earlier that it was actually funny.
Status: Halfway through season two. 

Mad Men
Watching people drink at work all the time just doesn’t have the same appeal when you’re allowed to drink at work all the time. (Okay, after 3pm.)
Could’ve been improved by: If I hadn’t accidentally watched the last episode of Season 1 first. That was really confusing.
Status: Somewhere in season 3, near the beginning. 

Misfits
Removal of the best part of the show (irreverence, be still my heart) means I’m not watching anymore.
Could’ve been improved by: I’m not even going to say it. I’m still mad.
Status: About 10 minutes into the first episode of season 3. 

The New Girl
I like Zooey Deschanel, and I really liked the theme song (“It’s Jess!” reminded me of my friend Jess) but the first few episodes of the show LEFT ME IN A FEMINIST RAGE!!! GRR! SMASH! Oops I broke my laptop.
Could’ve been improved by: MORE SMASHING!!
Status: Watched the first three episodes.

Once Upon a Time
The thing that bugs me about this show has to do with my views on adoption and my dislike for the evil queen = adoptive mother scenario and just isn’t very funny.
I also don’t like Emma’s face.
Could’ve been improved by: Better casting for Emma. More David Anders.
Status: Currently caught up. 

Torchwood
Drug addicts creep me out. Drug addict aliens really creep me out. 
Could’ve been improved by: Anything but drug addict aliens. Angel statues are less creepy.
Status: Finished season 3. I think.

True Blood
That horrible moment when the sexy viking vampire cuts his hair. FEMINIST RAG—er wait, that’s the wrong kind of rage.
Could’ve been improved by: SEXY VIKING VAMPIRES DON’T CUT THEIR HAIR! GRR! SMASH!
Status: Currently caught up.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The Vampire Diaries
They killed off David Anders and that was the only reason why I was watching the show.
Could’ve been improved by: More David Anders.
Status: I forget where I left off. Does anything even happen on that show?

30 Rock
There is nothing wrong with this show. I was going to say, there’s nothing wrong with this show except that I don’t know what happened to the character Danny as he seems to have vanished with no explanation, but James Marsden is on it now. There is nothing wrong with this show. 
Could’ve been improved by: I’m not even going to pretend I could make this show better. Some things should not be tampered with.
Status: Currently caught up. 

Posted in Misc | Tagged 30 rock, battlestar galatica, bsg, caprica, david anders, downton abbey, fringe, himym, how i met your mother, mad men, misfits, new girl, once upon a time, the vampire diaries, torchwood, true blood, tv | Leave a response

My Sordid Relationship with Colors

By Alli on February 9, 2012

I was on this date once and it wasn’t going very well. The guy was a cute redhead (and I like gingers) but the conversation was rather lackluster. He kept telling me about how he was going to make a lot of money as an electrician and then he started asking me pointless questions, like “What’s your favorite color?”

The date was at a Chinese restaurant so at the end they gave us fortune cookies. I still remember my fortune because it said, “Happiness is right in front of you,” and I really didn’t want him to see it. Even though he was actually sitting to my left and in front of me was a painting of a river in China.

Anyway, this post is about my favorite color, not bad date stories. I’ll need several books to tell all of those.

When I was little my favorite color was “purple pink” which was not quite pink and not quite purple. In first grade, my most prized posession was my box of 64 crayola crayons. Yes, it had the built-in sharpener (and yes, the sharpener was a piece of crap). In the box I discovered the real name for my favorite color: fuchsia. Of course I was just learning how to read at the time so I thought it said “floresha.”

Crayon thievery was a popular crime in first grade. So much that my friend’s mom went in and wrote her initials over every single one of her crayons. The boy I sat next to (his name is Jason—has anyone else noticed that no one is named Jason anymore?) would always steal my crayons, particularly the fuchsia. (As you may remember this was how people flirted in first grade. Actually, things haven’t really changed since then.) I would then accuse him of stealing it, and he would say, “I don’t have your precious floresha!”

Later I would see him coloring with it. SO BUSTED!

My favorite color changed after that. I think it was silver for a while, and I had a brief love affair with cerulean (which I probably didn’t pronounce correctly either). During my Weird Period, my favorite color was green because green is the favorite color of weird people. (Don’t believe me? Ask a weird person their favorite color. I bet it’s green.)

At some point I decided it was purple. I remember doing some kind of craft project in 10th grade English that involved scissors. I grabbed a pair with purple handles and brought them back to my desk to begin cutting. 

“You know,” my friend said. “Purple is the gay color.”
This was the moment I discovered I wasn’t a homophobe. “So? I like purple,” I said.
“If you use purple scissors that means you’re gay,” he said.
“No,” I said. “It means I like purple.” 

In college I forgot the purple scissors incident and decided gray was my favorite color. It made me think of warm sweaters and thunderstorms. This was also my Hipster Period, and gray is an appropriate favorite color for a hipster.

I forgot about favorite colors for a while until the wanna-be-electrician-ginger asked. I told him gray, but knew the Hipster Period was long over and I needed a new favorite color. I went home and looked in my closet and saw my purple shirt, and thinking about how really ridiculously good looking I am in purple, decided it should be my favorite color.

I now have about five purple shirts. Although one of them is more of a floresha.

(Crayola photo via grock’s frocks.)

(I Look Better in Purple Shirt image via charlie mcdonnell.)

Posted in Funny | Tagged bad date stories, built-in sharpener, color, colors, crayola, crayons, fuchsia, gray, green, purple, weird people | Leave a response

Christmas Letter 2011

By Alli on January 3, 2012

With a gratuitous picture of Adrien Brody. You can also read my letter from 2010 if you’d like.

Dearests,

I know that you have my Christmas letter from last year framed and hanging on your wall. Your other friends and family members are probably feeling sick of being asked to read it over and over again. Lucky for them, here is a brand new Christmas letter for their (and your) reading pleasure.

The first events of my 2011 included a trip to Mt. Vernon with my father. When the staff found out that I was going to be visiting, they opened George Washington’s tomb just for us. Of course, we allowed others to view it, too.

I’m still working at Salsa Labs, but I am happy to announce that I was promoted this year to High Supreme Empress of the Universe. Since this title is a bit ostentatious, I must write “Senior Project Manager” in my email signature and other outward facing documents. I also have a desk which faces a view of Connecticut Ave. Occasionally Joe Biden drives by. Since we’re best friends, he makes sure to have his driver honk when he’s passing my window.

In September I was feeling rather restless and scheduled a few vacations for myself. My first trip was to visit a friend the Pacific Northwest. In Seattle, I partied with the members of the bands The Kills and Broken Social Scene. I feel in love with Portland, mainly because of the bookstore Powell’s. I tried to convince Powell’s to let me live there, but they declined stating some nonsense about not having any beds. Trifling details, I think!

I was thinking Paris for my second trip but instead decided to get out of the city and take a drive to visit my friend in Central Pennsylvania. She lives in one of those towns where there is only a stop sign, the roads are dirt, and the hotels advertise the fact that they have carpet. The trees went on forever and I’m pretty sure I saw Bigfoot. 

For my final trip I decided I’d had enough of the country so I went to visit a friend in New York City. When you’re as famous as I am it’s hard to go to a city like New York and not be hounded by paparazzi the entire time, but somehow I managed to make it back to DC without any horrible photos of me scarfing down frozen margaritas made it into the tabloids.

I will be ending the year by visiting my family in Michigan, which is something I really need to do as I’m getting sick of having to dodge all the suitors who line up outside my apartment. I keep telling them that I’m holding out for Adrien Brody, but they wont back off.

Love and mistletoe,
Alli 

Posted in Funny | Tagged adrien brody, christmas, funny, humor, letter, mt. vernon, travel | Leave a response

Tis the Season for Procrastination

By Alli on December 17, 2011

I’m procrastinating right now. I should be doing the following things, but I’m not: continue attempting to battle the layer of dust that covers everything my apartment, sort through my last month of mail, fix my friend’s blog, and post in Conversations with Strangers. I have about 15 brief notes on conversations that need to be written up, and sometimes by the time I get around to writing one, I can’t remember what “breaking the score thing” means.

I’m also procrastinating Christmas. My Christmas procrastination usually begins sometime in August. During this month, I realize that it’s going to be fall soon, and if I want to follow up on my lofty ideas of sending out handmade holiday cards, making gifts for my friends and family members, and replacing the coat-hanger and tinsel tree I made when I was four I should get started. I rationalize: It’s still summer. A whole season has to pass before Christmas arrives. I have plenty of time!

Then Halloween rolls around, and I remember the whole “making stuff for Christmas” thing. I usually remember it because I have about a day to come up with a clever costume after procrastinating all month. I rationalize: Next month is November, and November is the perfect month to work on holiday projects.

Suddenly it’s mid-December, and I rationalize: it’s too late to make everything. Maybe I can make a few ornaments and additional gifts, but I’ll buy everything else. I put up the coat-hanger tree, proud of myself for actually decorating.

I attempted to boost my creativity and holiday spirits by making ornaments for a swap with some friends. We could make up to 12. I, of course, made two:

Perhaps it’s a good thing that I’m not making gifts for people. The only crafts I’m particularly good at are embroidery and making things out of felt. For my mom’s birthday, I made her a felt-embroidered piece of art that I think she has hidden somewhere. I don’t think my brother really wants a Harry Potter scarf. Scarves are the only thing I can knit and adding stripes is pushing my limit. I have a sewing machine, which would be helpful in the gift-making arena but I rarely use it and I can barely sew in a straight line. I haven’t even mentioned the sweater curse yet (which happens to be another good reason to be single for the Holidays).

As for Christmas cards, I actually got around to sending them out for the first time last year. This year, I decided that along with my hyperbolic Christmas letter (no, I haven’t written this year’s yet), I would make my holiday cards.

That didn’t happen. But at least I got to Target soon enough that I wasn’t stuck with the weird overly-glittered cards no one else wanted?

Does this procrastination mean I’ve completed my holiday shopping? No! Last year I flew into Michigan on Christmas Eve and did most of my shopping that very day. This year I’ll be flying in on the 23rd, and I’m proud of myself for getting it done early this year!

Posted in Misc | Tagged christmas, crafts, humor, ornaments, procrastination | Leave a response

The Low Sugar Diet, Or How I Lost 20 Pounds Without Breaking a Sweat

By Alli on December 8, 2011

I started this low sugar diet (I also call it “the diet for lazy people”) a little over a year ago and it’s been amazing. Here is a “before” picture of me. This is what I look like now:

I need a hair cut.

My diet worked amazingly for me but that doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. I’m not a doctor or a nutritionist and I can’t tell you if this is right for you or not. 

I can tell you how I did it. I’d weighed the same for about a year. This was a step up from gaining a little weight every year. I managed to keep my weight stable by doing what I call the “guilt trip” diet. It worked like this: I would decide I needed to get healthier. I would plan a bunch of meals, count calories, or maybe re-sign up for SparkPeople and attempt to exercise. This would work for about two days, until I just got tired of writing down how many calories I was eating and doing all that math. Somehow it ended up with me eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, which I would then feel guilty about, and so I’d start over.

Also, I hate exercise.

This diet wasn’t working, and in around September of 2010 I went to the doctor and had some blood work done. I found out that my triglycerides were super high. I did some research (Google) on triglycerides and discovered that the following things contained triglycerides:

1. Alcohol. Well, there was no way I was giving that up.

2. Shellfish. I didn’t eat much shellfish, but I love it so, and I wasn’t going to cut it out of my diet entirely.

3. Sugar. I ate a lot of sugar. Ice cream. Cookies. Pop-tarts. Granola bars. Trail mix with dried fruit and M&Ms. Sour patch kids. Chocolate with caramel inside. Cheesecake. Carrot cake. Red velvet cake. Pie.

I wasn’t about to stop drinking, I didn’t eat enough shellfish for it to make a difference, so that left the sugar. I knew from previous attempts at counting calories that counting sugar wasn’t going to work. I was too lazy for that. I needed to just give it up entirely, or at least as much as I could.

I also knew that I couldn’t give up sugar entirely forever. I love everything in that list. I would need to be able to treat myself sometimes, and have something to look forward to. I decided that on holidays I would be able to eat whatever sugary thing I wanted. Holidays include federal holidays and birthdays of close friends and immediate family members. I end up getting around 1-3 holidays a month. 

It wasn’t long on the diet that I noticed that I was starting to lose weight. This was an amazing feeling. After so long of the worthless “guilt trip” diet, I finally found something that worked, and it was way easier. I didn’t lose a ton of weight really quickly. This was a lifestyle change for me, not a crash diet. I’m not saying “give up sugar and you’ll instantly lose weight!” That said, I lost 20 pounds in a year, and I’m proud of it. I look really good, and people have noticed.

I feel a lot better, too. I noticed early on that I had a lot more energy. I still don’t like waking up in the morning, but it no longer hurts. I’m now coherent after about an hour instead of three. I don’t feel like taking a nap every afternoon at 4pm (just some days). There’s actually some sciencey stuff that supports my findings. Yay science!

Those nasty triglycerides? Within normal range after just a few months.

If you’re thinking of maybe trying a low sugar diet (and I still think you should talk to a doctor first), here are some tips that have helped me:

  • Don’t count grams! Check labels and if something has a lot of sugar, don’t eat it. It’s that easy.
  • Eat whatever else you want. I actually found that once I started eating less sugar I actually wanted to eat healthier, but if you find yourself craving a handful of potato chips, go for it.
  • If you find yourself really wanting something sweet, eat some fruit! I eat fruit all the time. Nothing comes between me and my fruit.
  • So much breakfast food is sugary this is the hardest meal to come up with. I eat a carton of light yogurt mixed with two heaping teaspoons of peanut butter and a banana sliced in. This keeps me full until lunch (unlike instant oatmeal, which does not). On days I forget to bring the yogurt or banana to work (I eat breakfast there) I grab a croissant from starbucks. (This has 6 grams of sugar. The low fat very berry coffee cake has 28 grams.) An egg would be another good option, but that involves cooking and this is a diet for lazy people.
  • Emerald cocoa roast almonds. I just discovered these. They are chocolaty, delicious, full of protein, and only 1 gram of sugar per serving. They are expensive, but my grocery store often has them on sale.
  • This is a low sugar diet, not a no sugar diet. The difference is important!
Stay sweet!

Posted in Misc | Tagged dieting, nutrition, sugar, triglycerides, weight loss, weight loss for lazy people | Leave a response

The Year I Found my Christmas Presents

By Alli on December 6, 2011

Once, when I was about four years old, I found my Christmas presents. This is probably my proudest memory as a child. It’s either that, or getting third place in jump rope on field day in third grade (I wasn’t very athletic). I never believed in Santa, so I knew my parents bought my Christmas presents, and I knew they hid them.

I also knew that the rooms upstairs that I wasn’t supposed to go in were probably likely hiding places since, you know, I wasn’t supposed to go in them. I was a pretty smart 4-year-old. The forbidden area was mostly used for storage, and I poked around heading further and further to the back until I spotted it: my heart’s desire, a Baby Alive doll (along with some other items that I don’t remember so they must not have been that exciting).

What I really wanted as a 4-year-old was this doll that when you pushed on it, it would make this eating motion so it seemed like it was either a) sucking its thumb, b) drinking from a bottle, or c) eating food that you made by mixing these packets of powdery stuff with water. After eating the food, you would wait a minute and then the doll would poop into a diaper.

It looked like this:

This doll ate and pooped. And this is what I wanted when I was 4. (Actually what I really wanted was a sibling, but at the time I thought a pooping doll was a good substitute.) So when I saw the box in the hidden storage area in the upstairs of the house where I wasn’t supposed to go, I was overjoyed. And then, of course, I went and told my mother.

After that, my mom was so good at hiding Christmas presents I never found them again. This isn’t to say I didn’t search for them in every nook and cranny of both the houses I grew up in. She still wont tell me where she hid them all these years. I should probably say “hides them” actually, since I don’t think she believes that I’m not actually going to go looking for them now that I’m 27 years old. 

(Photo via 2mnedolz.)

Posted in Funny | Tagged christmas, dolls, gifts, holidays, snooping, toys | Leave a response

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